“Reek did not know what to say, so he said nothing. One wrong word could cost him another toe, even a finger. Thus far he had lost two fingers off his left hand and the pinky off his right, but only the little toe off his right foot against three from his left. Sometimes Ramsay would make japes about balancing him out. My lord was only japing, he tried to tell himself. He does not want to hurt me, he told me so, he only does it when I give him cause. His lord was merciful and kind. He might have flayed his face off for some of the things Reek had said, before he’d learned his true name and proper place.”
Wait, so when Theon mentions that he should have died with Robb, he’s aware that he was butchered by the Freys.
So it’s not like he even thought of the glamour of going out in a real battle with Robb.
He still thinks he should have died with him in a horrible slaughter. Not even a fight.
I DON’T LIKE THIS FEELING.
favourite asoiaf characters; Theon Greyjoy“Theon,” they seemed to whisper, “Theon.” The old gods, he thought. They know me. They know my name. I was Theon of House Greyjoy. I was a ward of Eddard Stark, a friend and brother to his children. “Please.” He fell to his knees. “A sword, that’s all I ask. Let me die as Theon, not as Reek.” Tears trickled down his cheeks, impossibly warm. “I was ironborn. A son… a son of Pyke, of the islands.”
now you are truly lost
“I hated them for holding me prisoner!” Theon shouts about the Starks as a last resort, “I wanted to hurt them.”
But the most painful part about that is that it isn’t true. It’s a lie, a huge lie, because Theon doesn’t hate them. Exactly the opposite is true. He loves them, and he hates himself for it. He wants what they have. He wants Winterfell, he wants their home, and their family, and their land and legacy. He wants to be a part of that castle, he wants to force his blood into the bones of the building.
He’s both jealous of Robb, and he wants to be his equal, so he steals Robb’s home and tries to be its prince. He occupies the chair that Robb sat in after his own father and sister rejected him. He chose the family he was forced into instead of the one that gave him away. He wants to prove he can be a Greyjoy, that he can take from others, make them pay the iron price, and that he can be a Stark, and rule.
He wanted to be Theon Greyjoy, Prince of Winterfell, and soon he won’t even know his name.
Lord Eddard had tried to play the father from time to time, but to Theon he had always remained the man who’d brought blood and fire to Pyke and taken him from his home. As a boy, he had lived in fear of Stark’s stern face and great dark sword.